I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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