You're my little dorito
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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