You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize