The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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