This girl is more easily done than said...
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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