who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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