this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
