Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
