She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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