Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
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I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
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Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
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