you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize