They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
