hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
