Just mADE A PArabola og urine
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
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