Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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