It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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