shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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