she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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