i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize