fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
