just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Randomize
