i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
