if i can run in heels then i can drive
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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