if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
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