so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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