So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
