Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
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