Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Randomize
