oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.