He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
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My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
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The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.