Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.