I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox