this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Just cropdusted the office
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.