yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
So gin and wine won't be happening again
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed