i wish my penis had a tongue
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
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i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
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Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken