your thong is hanging out like whoa
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.