just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
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His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.