I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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