Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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