Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize
