I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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