He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
