Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
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