I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
