White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
even my farts smell like vagina
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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