Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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