Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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