are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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