he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize
