Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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