Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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