Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Randomize
