Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize
