I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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