I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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