theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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