My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Found the puke drawer
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
