I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!