12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.