when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
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You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
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Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours