Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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