My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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