once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
