we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
we made out on top of his cat.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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