Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
